Of Clowns and Swimming Pools

Back in the early days of the American Football League, the Patriots actually weren't that bad. Don't get me wrong, they never had any money and the stadium situation was embarrassing even by AFL standards, but the on-the-field product was pretty good.

In 1963, the Patriots even went to the league championship game. The blueprint for the team was a wide open passing game led by NFL castoff Babe Parelli and a savage defense featuring defensive end Jim Lee Hunt, Hall-of-Famer Nick Buonoconti and...defensive lineman Larry Eisenhauer.

Of all the oddball characters in the old AFL, few measured up to the Wildman - a nickname he did not earn for his exploits on the football field. He broke through the locker room wall in Buffalo with a head butt. In Kansas City, he walked onto the field wearing only his jock strap and helmet while it was snowing.

The classic story was the Pablo incident. Back in the mid-60s, Boston was a breeding ground for kid's television shows - Sesame Street, Captain Kangaroo, and Boom Town were the most popular. Boom Town feature the pseudo-cowboy named Rex Trailer and his side kick, a middle-aged clown named Pablo. The Boom Town producers made a deal with the Patriots to do a skit on the show. Basically, Pablo would try out for the team and at one point he would break a run and zig zag, Chaplinesque, through the Patriots defense for a touchdown as players were falling down and tripping over each other trying to get the clown. Clowns walking through a bunch of stumbling Patriot defenders would be a common occurance each Saturday night in a couple of years, but back then the Patriots defense was one of the best in the league. The players all agreed to the bit thinking that the kids would find it funny, plus, hell, it was good PR.

So the bit starts and Pablo starts his shifty-legged run as the Patriots, according to the script, are all tripping over each other. When Pablo gets to the 20-yard-line, he passes his last defender on the way to the end zone.

Unfortunately that last defender was Eisenhauer, who snapped. He couldn't bear the thought of anyone "even a clown" getting a free shot at the Patriot's end zone, so he led out a primal scream and took chase.

Pablo, of course, looked back, saw this 255-pound maniac chasing him and ran for his life. He didn't make it as the Wildman jumped on the 110-pound clown and squashed him to the dirt.

"Nobody gets across our goal line. Not even a clown."

Years later, Eisenhauer admitted that he was a little ashamed of the incident, but "I didn't really hurt him. I just jumped on his back. Why give the guy a free touchdown?"

That's Larry Eisenhauer.

So in 1963, the Patriots are about to play the San Diego Chargers for the AFL title. The Patriots were good, but the Chargers were NFL caliber, which in the day was a big deal. Either way, the Pats were going to get a vacation out of the deal since the game was being played in San Diego. Eisenhauer was so happy that he brought he equally large father with him.

The club that the players hung out at was located inside the hotel that they were staying at and Larry and his father were upstairs getting ready to join the team. But first, Larry and his father wanted to take a swim in the pool they found on the second floor. After putting their swim trunks on, both behemoths walked down to the second floor to dive in the pool. Right before jumping in they noticed all of these beautiful women swimming in mermaid outfits. The two men grinned at each other before diving it, "our lucky day."

The players at the bar were enjoying their drinks and watching a great feature of their new club - an aquarium behind the bar where these models, dressed as mermaid, swam. They were enjoying themselves until...

The world's largest mermaids were frolicking in the "pool" until they turned around and saw man of the New England Patriots drinks in hand sitting at the bar and staring at them with disgust.

That's Larry Eisenhauer.